U.S. Department of Education
Office of Educational Research and Improvement
It's no surprise to anyone that children need time with their parents. And even though most parents are extremely busy, whether they work outside the home or not, they do find time to spend with their children. But they want that time to count in helping prepare their children for the world they will find outside home.
What counts most is what we say and do at home, not how rich or poor we are or how many years of school we have finished. When children can count on getting attention at home, they have a greater sense of security and self-worth. This will help them do better not only in school, but also when they grow up.
If you think about it, school, while very important, does not really take up very much time. In the United States, the school year averages 180 days; in other industrialized nations, the school year can extend up to 240 days, and students are often in school more hours per day. So, the hours and days a child is not in school are important for learning, too.
Communicating. This is probably the most important activity we can do in our home, and it doesn't cost anything. Ask questions, listen for answers. These are no-cost, high-value things to do.
Think of conversation as being like a tennis game with talk, instead of a ball, bouncing back and forth. Communication can happen any time, any place—in the car, on a bus, at mealtime, at bedtime.
When our children enter and continue school with good habits of communication, they are in a position to succeed—to learn all that has to be learned, and to become confident students.
Starting early. Here are some things you can do when your children are young:
Handling homework. These are the messages to get across to your children about homework:
- Let them see you read, and read to them and with them. Visit the library. If they are old enough, make sure they have their own card. Keep books, magazines, and newspapers around the house.
- Keep pencils and paper, crayons, and washable markers handy for notes, grocery lists, and schoolwork. Writing takes practice, and it starts at home.
- Teach children to do things for themselves rather than do the work for them. Patience when children are young pays off later.
- Help children, when needed, to break a job down into small pieces, the do the job one step at a time. This works for everything—getting dressed, a job around the house, or a big homework assignment.
- Develop, with your child, a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs around the house. List them on a calendar, day by day.
- Every home needs consistent rules children can depend on. Put a plan into action, and follow through.
- Give each child an easy-to-reach place in which to put things away.
- Set limits on TV viewing so that everyone can get work done with less background noise.
- Watch TV with your children and talk about what you see.
The time we spend exchanging ideas at home with our children is vitally important in setting the tone, the attitudes, and the behaviors that make the difference in school.
- Education is important. Homework has to be done. Let children know that this is what you value.
- Try to have a special place where each child can study.
- Help your children plan how to do all the things they need to do—study, work around the house, play, etc.
- Let your children know that you have confidence in them. Remind them of specific successes they have had in the past perhaps in swimming, soccer, cooking, or in doing a difficult homework assignment.
- Don't expect or demand perfection. When children ask you to look at what they've done—from skating a figure 8 to a math assignment—show interest and praise them when they've done something well. If you have criticisms or suggestions, make them in a helpful way.
In the Community
In many parts of our nation, the ties among neighbors have been weakened. For the sake of our children, they need to be rebuilt, and you can help. Be sure to introduce your children to your neighbors. You might even try a "child watch" program where adults who are at home during the day keep an eye out for children when they walk to and from school and stand at the bus stops.
Some schools are helping families connect with the community by, for example, becoming centers for social services as well as for education. Getting to know your child's school can help you, in a very real way, get to know a major part of your community. It can also help you build a network of wider community support for your family.
Parents can become involved with the schools in several different ways, by working with children at home, volunteering, sharing information, and helping to make policy. We need to remember that what works in one community (or for one family) may not necessarily work in another.
It may no longer be possible for parents to volunteer as often for school activities. However, working with children at home and sharing information with the school are two things all parents can do.
The section after activities, "Parents and the Schools," has some suggestions on how to get the most out of talking to your child's teacher. Many teachers say they rarely receive information from parents about problems at home. Many parents say they don't know what the school expects of their child. Sharing information is essential, and both teachers and parents are responsible for making it happen.
With our help, our children can become confident students, able to handle the challenges of school. This means:
- Talking with our children about the value of hard work and about the importance of education;
- Talking about what's happening in school;
- Reading report cards and messages that come from school;
- Going to school and meeting with teachers;
- Taking part in school events where you can; and
- Finding out about resources in the community.
Table of Contents
Parents and Schools
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